A week without social media, Let’s see what happens..

You see I’m always trying to test myself with breaks from certain things for the betterment of my health. I’m officially free from smoking and the week before was spent without bread/gluten but this time it’s in a different ball court and I’m choosing to detox from social media. The results of that week were mega impressive with my lack of gluten as my stomach hardly made its usual complaints which is exactly what I needed. So with that I’m inspired to test myself further and see if I have the willpower to remove something I enjoy from my life yet again.

Now you’re probably wondering, why are you doing this, what is there to prove, do you think you’ll be better than us without social media, what’s the buzz?

Basically I’ve really started to notice how social media is affecting my mental health. The other week I was in a great mood and then decided “lets go online” and that’s when I saw couples “Blank in New Relationship with Blank”, “1 year with this babe”, “10 years ago me vs today me with bf”. And suddenly I felt alone and like I’d never be worthy of love and just by witnessing 3 different accounts of others love lives. I felt pathetic even thinking these thoughts.

However this got me thinking, what would happen if I completely cut out social media for a week?

So Sunday evening I went on my accounts for one last time and deleted them from my home screen. I can admit it sounds like it will not prove difficult so it can’t be that hard right?

Day 1 – I already want to write on twitter about how well my detox is going. Except if I did that it wouldn’t be a break from social media, would it self?
I went out to lunch by myself as I love taking myself on dates. I took a picture of my sandwich of which led to a mini debate with myself about if it was even worth it. Seeing as I can’t upload it to my insta story as some sort of self gratification of ‘look at me, I’m so edgy eating alone’. In the end I decided to take the photo as personal evidence that I still have the courage to go out alone. I’m naturally a photographer so there’s a sort of pull to do these sort of things anyway.

Day 2 – So I thought pre driving lesson would be hard as I often distract myself from the nerves with my phone. Instead it ended up being early enough for me to just finish yoga and meditation and wait a short time (with limited nerves). However today got more difficult towards the end but equally I’ve been reading more and doing house chores. I had this weird feeling of anxiety towards 7pm and I wonder if that was to do with lack of small dopamine hits from these apps. I found that reading blog posts sort of became a crutch to calm myself down.

Day 3 – The problem with abstaining from something is that you find other things to fill the void. Apparently this is youtube and gaming for me today. I’ve decided Youtube feels the same as social media as I’m still comparing myself to others. In fact I’ve come to the conclusion that I still judge others despite where I encounter them. On my daily commutes it appears to be hard wired into my mind. Our generation just compares ourselves with others. Perhaps by removing myself from social media I can decrease the amount of comparing I do but not 100%. But Maybe it takes a little while to change what is programmed into my mind.

Day 4 – It has made me go out and socialise at an art gallery opening when perhaps I should of stayed in and got a good nights sleep for work. Basically had a busy day of work, driving lesson and then going out with no time to sit down and think about when to go on social media. While out I was more present and didn’t hide behind my screen in between chatting. I also noticed how others were going on Instagram during conversation. How it felt to be on the other end of chilling with someone on their phone without realising others are around sitting awkwardly (aka me).

Day 5 – I’m really starting to feel like I could keep up this , no social media ever again. I feel great and the urge to go on my phone is less. I went on tinder for a minute before deciding I really don’t want to do this as it’s just feeding my ego with likes. I’m using this to feel good about myself rather than to find a date. I don’t feel the connection and it feels fake behind a screen now.

Day 6 – I was hungover and it was difficult not to re download the app so I can mindlessly scroll but I survived.

Day 7 – I’m looking forward to tomorrow and going on my social media. However I do NOT want to go back to old me as I have found more time to read, blog, do yoga, meditate and deal with my own issues. Social media has been distracting me from life and since I’ve been off I’ve been more social in real life. I had become overwhelmed by other people lives and knowing what they were doing at any time to the point of wanting to be alone Yet feeling terribly alone at the same time. Just by what I was engaging in daily.

Now it’s the day after and I’ve been on Instagram and Facebook. Instagram was too overwhelming and I was already thinking to myself how “I wish I was there”. I couldn’t hack it for long. Facebook left me with 16 notifications and 3 friend requests of which I didn’t know any of the people and none of the notifications were directed at me.

I think I’m going to continue with my ‘detox’. I’ll be less strict but I enjoy that I’m not wasting time scrolling others lives while not living my own.